Some days as a parent are great. You've got everything organized, you've checked things off the to do list, the laundry is folded AND put away, your kids are getting along, and your house is filled with laughter. Other days? Not so much.
There are just some days where nothing seems to go right, your kids won't stop bickering at each other, and 1 or more of them will refuse to put on clothes to leave the house. Those days happen. It seems like those days happen with far more frequency than the good days. Breathe.
While I know that bad days, or just off days happen, I still struggle with cutting myself slack and not getting down on myself. Just being real and honest here. I have accepted that nothing in my home or family will be perfect, and I'm actually okay with that. The imperfection is a lot more fun anyways.
It's not that my house is a huge mess or that NOTHING is getting done. I struggle more with not getting as much down as I would like.
I have had to come to terms with the fact that my kids are typically only able to have the patience for one - two stores when we do errands. The length of my to do list will not make it any easier for them to do or go more than they are capable of. In the moment though the struggle to not get frustrated with not getting more done is very real. It's a moment by moment realization that my kids are not misbehaving in order to drive me crazy. They are misbehaving because they are bored, or tired, or hungry, or a miriade of other reasons.
The realization that my kids behavior, good or bad, is a personal action against me is actually pretty ridiculous and yet in the moment of frustration not so much. The struggle becomes even more tenuous when it comes to getting groceries. My girls will be hungry but trying to explain that the grocery shopping needs to get done in order to solve their problem does not register in their logic circuits.
I'm trying to learn in the middle of the mess and struggle to cut everyone a break, especially my family. I'm learning tools and tricks to make things better for everyone. I wish I could say that I felt like progress was being made but I'm still in the midst of slogging it out. I'm not perfect. There are still days that I hid in my closet with chocolate trying to get a moment of quiet, but I'm still not convinced that this is a bad thing.
My prayer despite everything is that my children will look back and remember that I choose to place them ahead of my to do list. I hope that they will remember me as the mom that made s'mores over a candle at the table or built giant forts in the living room that stayed up for days.
I'm not perfect, but perfection was never my goal, excellence is the goal and I think that I'm working more towards that everyday.
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