I have some foundational ideas and things that I am teaching my daughters that I feel very strongly about, whether I am right or wrong remains to be seen. Either way I am adamant to raise my daughters to be determined, strong, and brave women.
It is said that our glass ceilings become our children's' foundation, with that in mind I have made it my goal to not only set my glass ceiling as high as humanly possible but also to make this foundation a spring board propelling them higher, further, and greater than I can even dream possible. With this as a goal, I find myself pushed out of my comfort zone continually.
I am determined to show my daughters by my example that we can do anything that we set our minds to. This means doing things that make me scared. This means pushing through difficulties when I want to give up. This means living every moment as if they are watching and learning, because they are. Right now, in practicality, this means doing car repairs myself, not because I know 100% what I am doing, or some days even want to do it, but because I want to show my daughters that women CAN do it. I want to teach them not to wait for someone else to rescue you or do it for you. I want them to learn to do the difficult things for themselves, to rescue themselves. That lesson in this season is worth the frustrations, learning curves, and struggles.
I titled this post "Raising Warriors" because that is one of the foundational ideas that I am raising my daughters with. Not that I am teaching them to pick fights or bully others but that I am raising them to stand up for what they passionately believe is right. I strive to teach them that warriors don't fight because they want to, but that warriors stand up for the things worth fighting for and the battles that NEED to be won. I remind them that they are warrior princesses and that they are strong, brilliant, and brave.
I also have a lesson that I teach in our house I call "enforcing your no". I teach them that they have the right to say no to others, and to enforce that no. I have taught my daughters that their bodies belong to them alone and no one has a right to their bodies or to touch them. They are allowed to tell people no when they don't want to be touched, and they are not required to change their mind regardless of how others react. They are not required to show physical affection to ANYONE. This is both because I want them to choose when and how to show affection, and because I know that true affection is given by choice, not forced or manipulated. They are taught that if someone tries to pick them up, hug them, or touch them, they have the right to say no, AND if that person doesn't listen they have the right to enforce that no. In our daily lives this means that if my oldest picks up her sister and little sister says no she can either listen to her little sister saying no or else her little sister is completely within her rights to punch her, and visa-versa.
I've shown them by example how to make choices and stick to them through not giving in to whining or tantrums, but holding your ground and being decisive. This isn't the easiest thing when they are carrying on wanting something but I believe that the consistency instills in them more than just steadiness, security, and boundaries. I want them to learn to be steadfast in the face of adverse reactions, and to hold to what they know is right regardless of those around them. To make right choices and stick to them. I also strive to help them to learn to think about their choices before they make them, to weigh the options, to look at possible consequences, and make the best choices they possibly can.
None of this is perfect. I don't even know if it's correct, but it is a work in progress. Every step forwards is still forward movement. Most of all the biggest lesson I am instilling in my daughters is the ability to learn from our mistakes and our lives. In every situation I strive to be consistently asking them "what can we learn from this?" Instead of looking at their mistakes and yelling at them for being human, I ask them what they learned from it. To me the focus of learning from mistakes and growing is hugely important in helping them to grow into healthy adults. After all they are people in their own right, walking through life themselves, learning and growing everyday, just like the rest of us.
